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Well, the holidays are over. It’s back to the grind. I am breathing a sigh of relief. Don’t get me wrong. I love the holidays and enjoyed my two weeks off, not feeling the pressure to write or edit, just giving myself time to be. It was wonderful but I am glad to be back.
I am happy that I hit the gym at 7:30 as usual, delighted to be back in my uncomfortable chair, writing and editing and editing and editing. I guess I like routine more than I would like to admit. And though I complain about the fact that being a writer is a lonely job, I can tell you that today I am relishing the aloneness.
I posted on Twitter yesterday that I may not have another post for about ten more days, as my time is being eaten up in editing. This is a good thing! I am sending off what I have written so far to an editor on the 12th of January. I am excited to get some feedback and hopefully a connection or two from this endeavor. That being said, I didn’t think I would take the time to blog, but then I realized that one cannot edit for hours on end. When you’ve read something too many times you either 1) become complacent 2) want to chuck the whole thing. So to keep my mind fresh I thought I better keep up my blogging this week.
The holidays were great here, relaxing and uneventful. This is a big switch for me. I usually plan many outings, if not trips, during our down time. I know this drives my husband crazy, but my kids usually stand by me and want to go and go as well. This year with Max’s play and Maddy’s trying softball schedule I ended up planning nothing, thinking we all needed a rest. As it turns out we did enjoy our laid back days. Saw a couple of movies, had snacks for dinner, stayed up and slept in too late.
We did see some friends and accomplished some long overdue tasks, but all in all it was very mellow. Now that we’re back to a schedule I must try to plan something! I think I’ll start with my nine. Two of us have already connected, trying to get together for some post holiday cheer. Maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t see many people this season. I don’t feel the normal let-down that many people experience. I am looking forward to seeing friends in January, keeping that holiday spirit alive.
I hope you all had a wonderful season and that you find time this month to connect with those you weren’t able to see during the hectic holiday weeks. Happy New Year to All!
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Hi - I am taking a break from writing during the holidays. Please take the time to enjoy your friends and family! Merry Christmas and I will be back on the 4th!
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I have to start by apologizing. I have not kept my word. The past two weeks saw only one post each, not the two I had promised. I hope to make it up to you this week and get three out, but the holidays keep taking over, so we’ll see.
I want to take this opportunity to thank our friends and family that came to see Max play Tiny Tim in "A Christmas Carol" over the past two weekends. The show was great and your support even greater. Max was thrilled to have so many fans at all of the shows.
The Holidays are special, but even more so when you can enjoy extra outings with your friends and family, when you don’t feel like it all has to boil down to one day. We were able to see more friends than usual this season and we feel truly blessed. Rick’s college buddy, Jim, rallied as many of the camping gang that could make it on short notice. The effort that they put into coming was amazing; between their own kids sports and school activities; that any of them could make it was impressive. I have to relay the story of one of the family’s journey.
Galen, one of the middle boys of Scott and Kelly had to drive his cousin into Seattle, from LaConner, for an appointment. After that he continued south to Tacoma to pick up his oldest brother, Chris and his girlfriend. Then out to Duvall, just in time for the show, and back to LaConner. To put this in perspective, he drove 216 miles that day, approximately 4 hours and 21 minutes, with a fuel cost of about $35. All to see one of his Dad’s, college buddies, son, in a Community Theater musical, if that isn’t commitment to friendship I don’t know what is. Scott then drove his oldest back to Tacoma and before heading home to LaConner.
At that same show, I saw Robbi, one of my 'nine'. She hadn’t told me she was coming, but there she was. Sitting alone, spending a Saturday night during the holiday season watching my son perform. Our friends are over the top. I was also impressed by my 92 year-old grandma. She came to the show with my parents and then to our home afterwards for a reception on Sunday night. It's amazing that she is still out enjoying her great-grandkids.
"Tiny Tim singing 'God Bless Us Everyone' "
This is a blessing from above, and really strikes home the message that Tiny Tim tells the world. You are not a rich person because of your bank account; you are rich if you have friends and family in your life. I felt like a millionaire these past two weekends and I have all of you to thank. Love to all of you and Merry Christmas!
"Scrooge singing to Tiny Tim"
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I had a blast last night. Rick and I went to see ‘Spike and the Impalers’ at the Snoqualmie Casino. For those of you that are not from the Seattle area they are a band that is comprised mostly of guys from a morning talk radio show. The music is classic rock and the show was great. We went with one of my ‘nine’, Trisha, and her husband Mark. Mark and Rick go way back, all the way to high school. Anyway, I am getting totally off subject.
Driving home last night, late, I was all amped up. I wanted so bad to be asked to write a review, but of course, I wasn’t. So, I wanted to use my blog today to write my review, hopefully they’ll see it, I promise to keep it short and sweet.
The show was great. It began with a comedian, Hal Sparks. He was good. I’m not much for comedians because I am easily offended, but I was cracking up during his Michael Jackson bit. I was also impressed at his admission that he doesn’t drink, though he didn’t come out and say that he doesn’t do drugs, so it left me wondering, hmmm. I also thought his bit about the male and female parts was hilarious, and so true. If you have a chance to see him; I would recommend going.
After Hal and an intermission, Spike and the Impalers came on stage. They opened with Bruce Springsteen’s “Santa Clause is Coming to Town” and they rocked. I have listened to their talk radio show for some time and was really excited to see the performance. They were so fun and they played for a long time; the show started at 8:00 and we didn’t get out of there until 11:40. Bob was great on the keyboards and Spike had so much enthusiasm and skill. Kaci was fabulous as well, and I agree with you guys, she doesn’t need to lose any weight!
Now for a bit of critique, again, I am not a critic, just a fan. I had never seen these guys in person, so I only knew who they were from the radio show. On the show they give Joe a lot of crap about his weight, but after seeing Spike and Bob, I thought, hold on, I don’t see a glaring difference in size here. So guys, I would stop pointing the ‘fat’ finger at Joe.
I loved how everyone showed their own style. There were so many musicians and I think every genre of music was represented in their attire, though I was not into the choice the Bad Co. guitarist made. Is he aware of what decade it is? The guitar (or maybe bass) player on the left, the girl in the schoolish looking outfit, was great! She needs more songs and it would be nice to see more of her face, maybe pull back the bangs.
That pretty much sums it up – my attempt at a quick critique. I truly enjoyed the evening and was so happy to be able to share it with one of my ‘nine’.
Merry Christmas – go see some rock and roll if you get a chance!
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This weekend saw the loss of a great man. I feel as though I have a recurring subject on this blog. It is supposed to be friendship yet there is a lot of death. I guess when you have many friendships there will be many losses as well.
Tom Bergstrom, my friend Jeannie’s dad, passed away this weekend. He lost a fight with cancer. I am confident the family is glad that he is no longer suffering, but I know they will miss him terribly. What I knew of Tom was this; he was active, friendly, outgoing, crafty and skilled. He was athletic, handsome and funny. He was a fabulous grandfather, husband and dad.
I was shocked when I learned that Tom had cancer. It was in the late spring of this year. Cancer is not something you never expect, but you truly don’t expect it from a man in tip-top shape. He skied and biked like a twenty-year-old. On one of his outings he took my daughter, with his grand-daughters, on a 15 mile bike ride and he was always on the slopes in the winter. Then there were the summer golf outings. He volunteered at the local club to help out with kid’s lessons, and he always had a kind word, a thoughtful question and a smile on his face.
Unfortunately there will never be an answer as to why cancer hits some people and not others. There’s speculation that since he was a fireman before all the safety gear was implemented, that might have been the cause, or part of it. But why he received this diagnosis is almost certainly not important anymore.
The one thing he left behind besides a beautiful family was his friends. There must have been hundreds of lives that were touched by Tom. I know my family is mourning his loss, not only for him and Marge, his wife, but for his children and grandchildren as well. It’s appropriate that there will be a party and a bon-fire in his honor in the coming weeks. I’ve been told it was what he wanted and I look forward to seeing many of the faces of the people whose lives in which he made a difference.
The fire will be on his property and it’s very fitting that way. The Bergstrom’s home was opened to friends on many occasions, especially for their grandkids. The end of elementary school party was there, 100 plus kids, the 8th grade dance sleep-over for the girls, with all the snacks and breakfast too. On Thanksgiving you were always welcome to come by for a drink or dessert and the list goes on and on.
Yes, Tom, you will be missed by many and I am thankful to have faith and know that you are out of pain and with God. Though the end has come I think Paul Anka hit a chord when he sang these words…
And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain,
My friends, I'll say it clear,
I'll state my case of which I'm certain.
I've lived a life that's full, I've travelled each and evr'y highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way.
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Oh no, now I'm talking to the dog. I better watch out before I lose my mind. Being a writer, living in a small community and having overly busy kids makes it hard to maintain a life of my own. I know I have many friends, and we all have friends that serve different purposes. I have my ‘nine’ that you have read about here though none of them live in my little town. The closest are about 30 minutes away. And yes, I am in a book club and volunteer a few hours a month at my kids’ schools but it can still be a pretty lonely existence.
When the kids were in elementary school I joined the local gym. I have the equipment to work out at home, but I felt like I needed the support and motivation that others can give you while exercising. It didn’t last long. I went for about a year and then popped in every now and then for another year or so, but the conversation wasn’t what I was looking for. It was all about our kids.
Not that I don’t love my kids, of course, they are the center of my universe but I am a person too, not just a mom. What I couldn’t stand was the competitive voice all the moms seemed to have. “My kid made this team.” “My kid is taking this math.” On and on it went. So I quit and went back to my lonely life. (That’s a bit overstated.) Then last year I decided to re-up. I realized just how solo most of my life was and I needed a daily social outlet.
I am so thankful I did because now I have a wonderful ‘new’ friend in my life. As I mentioned earlier, we have friends that serve different purposes in our lives and one of mine is my work-out buddy. Yes, we talk about our kids, my son dated her daughter for 10 months last year, and we talk! Yet, we also talk about us, our lives, our problems, our successes. Our friendship has grown outside of the gym too. Our husbands like each other and we enjoy many of the same activities.
So, if your life seems lonely or stagnant it may be time to take a look at what’s missing? It may be a book club, a coffee mate or a gym buddy. I am thankful that I took the plunge again. It’s never too late to make new friends.
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The holidays are upon us. Thanksgiving is done and Christmas is in full swing. I always enjoy the four day break we have over Thanksgiving. It’s wonderful to have a great meal with family and friends and still have three days to relax, maybe do some shopping, start decorating and eat leftovers all weekend.
This year we had a little hitch. Our 18 year-old dog, Otis, left us the day after Thanksgiving. Yes, he was really old, but he wasn’t on any medication, and there was no reason to expect that he would be heading off to doggie heaven, yet he did. My husband, Rick, was able to take him to the vet and have him put down, very humane I think. We were all able to say goodbye to him, kiss his cute little black face and ruffle his coat one last time. Once Rick was home and we were talking about the surreal feeling of no longer having Otis in the house, we found ourselves reminiscing. 
Otis had many friends, as you can imagine, he was 126 in dog years. I posted the news on Facebook and had an overwhelming number of sorrys, and I will miss him toos. It even crossed our minds to have a party, not to celebrate that he was gone, but to celebrate his life. Pets truly are a part of your family. The conversations we had and party ideas we tossed about are things you think of and do if a human family member passes away. I know we won’t have the party, so I felt the need to memorialize him here. We will continue to mourn his loss. He was a good dog, a faithful companion and a great little friend.
My writing is about friendships and how important they are to all of us. We need them to stay healthy and happy. I know the same is said about having pets, how much they teach us and our children, how pets can sense when we need their love. I know this is true from all that Otis taught us. I am thankful we still have another wonderful dog, Thunder, in our house and two independent, yet cuddly cats, Tramp and Jewel. I am hopeful that we will have them with us for a long time to come.
But again, if Tramp (our youngest pet) lives to be as old as our last cat (22) then I will be 63 and Rick will be 67! Wow, it is amazing to think about the lifetime you share with your pets. Good-bye Otis.
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I recently read an article in More Magazine (www.more.com) regarding friendship. It struck me because it directly related to what I have been working on in my book. I've been searching for more evidence to support what I know, that women need friends. This article, The Healing Power of Friends by Linda Marsa, is a story about three women, Penny Marshall, Laraine Newman and Marcia Strassman. Marcia is suffering from breast cancer, (which also spread to her bones). Her friends rallied around her and two years later her prognosis is looking up. There are many stories like this out there, and I love to read all that I can find.
Today I am making dinner for a friend that has ovarian cancer. While shopping for some last minute items I ran in to a friend at the grocery store whose husband has lung cancer. Denise walked in a 3-day breast cancer event to support a close friend, and Trisha has two friends that are dealing with cancer right now. This is just the tip of it, what I know without asking, and what is happening right now. The suffering of all of these friends can be unbearable at times, but know this… If you are helping a friend that is sick, sad or in any way in need of help, you are doing a great deed. Research proves that women’s friendships can help lower blood pressure, reduce the risk of diabetes and heart disease, keep depression at bay and help us grow old – happily. Women are ‘hard-wired’ this way and have been since the caveman days, when we had to protect ourselves and each other’s children. When the men were out hunting it was up to us to make sure everyone was safe, which is why the tending instinct is so strong in women.
I knew when I began writing a book about friendship that what we (my friends and I) have is important and needs to be shared. I also know the benefits of friendship don’t have to come from 30 plus year relationships. All friendships are effective at staving off cancer, heartache and old age. Though after 30 something years I am thrilled that we can still call each other friends, still find time to be together, still relate and still care about one another. The health benefits that we reap, whether it is now or later or both are a bonus. So to all of you out there with friends, old and new remember this – you’re lucky. Continue to nourish those friendships, so they can last a lifetime. And remember, when you’re feeling under the weather, be it just a day or an illness, and your friend wants to make you dinner or cheer you up, accept the offer. It is not only helping you, it is helping her too.
“Heartfelt positive feelings create far more than a healthy psychological effect. They fortify our internal energy systems and nourish the body right down to the cellular level. For that reason, we like to think of these emotions as "quantum nutrients." - Doc Childre and Howard Martin, The HeartMath Solution
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One of the first things you learn in language arts about writing is ‘don’t tell them what you’re going to say, just say it’. I apologize, but I am going to break this rule. There are a couple things I want to tell you. The first is that I have made a commitment to write on my blog at least two times a week. I won’t let you down.
The second thing I want to share is what I am going to write about. Friendship is the theme and that will not change, but there are many aspects of friendship that I want to discuss. So far I have shared personal stories with you and I plan to continue, but I will be adding thoughts, stories and introspection that are passed on to me from others. Some of the posts will be timely, as in they recently happened, or they pertain to the time of year.
Today one came to me when I was walking with a girlfriend. We have many things in common, one thing being that we are both step-mothers, and our steps are both young women in their twenties. There are wonderful things about being a parent, step or not, and there are things that you want to discuss, with friends, step – or not. I have to admit, that unless you’re a step, there are some things that you just won’t understand. So, on our walk she was telling me about the family dinner they had to celebrate her middle daughter’s birthday.
During the course of the evening she was getting frustrated with her step-daughter but she didn’t want to get upset, so she excused herself and went in the other room to relax. It was then that she told herself, let it go. I can keep this to myself until tomorrow morning. I will vent to Carrie while we walk. That’s what friendship is all about. I wasn’t at dinner that night, but knowing we were going to see each other in the morning; my friend was able to hold it in and wait for me. Knowing I would listen and understand, and I did, in fact I felt honored. And to tell the truth, she scarcely vented, but just knowing that she could made her evening better.
That’s what friends are for. You can release frustration about an event and the majority of the time that’s all you want to do. You may be looking for advice, but generally you don’t want your girlfriend to help you ‘fix’ any problem. You just need the release, get the pressure out, and go on with your daily routine. I think Ralph Waldo Emerson summed it up well when he said, “A friend is a person before whom I may think aloud.”
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| Traditions are important. Celebrating Christmas has been a tradition throughout my life; celebrating with my friends is one of our traditions.
The way we have celebrated has metamorphosed over the years, and you will have the opportunity to read about many of our celebrations in my forth coming book. For the past nine years we have been gathering at the Hyatt in Bellevue. When I think about it, the Hyatt has held more than just this celebration, it was also where we brought Krista when she came up for my engagement party. We surprised her with a limo at the airport and then we met the gang, mostly clad in blazers, at the sports bar. It is also where Rick and I held our wedding reception; I know all nine of us were there then. So this is truly a place of memories and celebration for us.
This year only four of the nine can be there, but there are extras too. Cindy K., who attended Sammamish with us, is a constant at this event and Anita B., whom Cindy T. worked with in the past, has been present for many of these Christmas parties was also there. The evening has evolved over the years. We have gone out for drinks in the past, but for the last four to five years we have chosen to stay in. We reserve a large suite, this year it was the Presidential Suite, and we bring food, wine and water. This year Cindy T. had a great idea; she bought lasagna at Whole Foods and asked the kitchen to cook it for us. Then she put out a few suggestions to the rest of us regarding what to bring to complete our meal. This is the first time we have had a real meal, usually we make do with heavy appetizers. It was wonderful.
(I love my new boots!)
The evening began for me at 3 PM, check in time. In years past I have spent the day Christmas shopping at Bellevue Square, right across the street from the Hyatt. This year I was not able to, I had a couple errands that I got out of the way and then spent the early afternoon with my Grandma, who was recovering in the hospital from a heart attack. I enjoyed my time and left, excited to see the girls. Once I arrived I began organizing what I could, I put my Christmas gift for the exchange on the side table, ordered up wine and champagne glasses, six of each, put my clothes in one of the bedrooms, my food in the fridge, champagne in a bucket of ice and wine on the counter. Then I pulled out my MORE Magazine, put my feet up and read. Everyone thought they’d be there between 3:30 and 4 o’clock, but no one was, so I just relaxed until Robbi showed up about 4:30.
It was nice to have some time alone with one friend. I really needed to vent about some of the mishaps that I had felt with my grandma’s heart attack. This was important to me but probably not something everyone needed to hear about, so I took the opportunity to bend Robbi’s ear and bitch about how my grandma had been treated, and then I was done. The rest of the evening went as usual, lots of food, wine and talk. We played a little game that I made up; it was something fun to spark conversation. Here are a couple of samples… #12 The most important aspect of any relationship is __________. #14 The last girlfriend I comforted was __________.
Trisha said again, yesterday, that we need to make this a weekend event, not just one night, and I agree. It might make it easier for everyone to make it, that way they could choose between two evenings, or afternoons. Either way, this tradition is staying put.
“Nobody, but nobody, can make it our here alone.” – Maya Angelou
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Does time pass quickly or stand still? I felt I was 18, 23, or 35 all over again. Last weekend time stood still.
Once we were together, at six o’clock in the morning, heading to the airport, it’s like we were together yesterday. Vegas was a blast. Sadly, only four of us were able to make it for the trip, but we enjoyed each and every second. Of course there’s all of the airport hassles, planes, luggage, taxis, but when we were on our way all the headaches faded away.
We arrived at out condo (thanks Bill) and because we were there so dang early; our room wasn’t ready. Oh well, it was lunch time, so we went to have a drink and grab some lunch. That was the beginning of our fantastic get away in the sunshine. Relaxing on the restaurant’s balcony, having cocktails and catching up makes for the start of a perfect day. Our trip continued in this same fashion. We relaxed by the pool, enjoyed dinners out, a fabulous show, CHER, and wine on our balcony in the evening, sometimes until the wee hours. We wanted to pack all the catching up you can into a few short days; and we did.
Being with friends that you have not seen in a while is fabulous, within minutes you can finish each other’s sentences. There’s no warming up period. That doesn’t exist when you know how little time you have together. We jumped right in with what’s going on in our lives, happy and sad; what our thoughts are regarding the trip and how happy we were to be there. The benefits of these friendships cannot be measured; they cannot be reduced to a calculation of time; they just are.
Time flew again and our last night was upon us. We decided to stay in and just enjoy one another. My wonderful, supportive friends read the chapters of my book that are in progress and we spent the evening discussing their thoughts, memories and input. I am blessed to have them in my life, which is why I am choosing to write our story. The next day, we cleaned up our mess, packed our clothes and admitted how sad we were to be leaving; we always want ‘just one more night’.
Yet, when you get home you realize how important your time away has been, how much our families missed us and the appreciation we feel knowing that we are needed and loved. Do I long for one more night, you bet and that feeling will never cease, but I am glad to be home and thankful for my wonderful, beautiful, fabulous and fantastic friends that I have had for over thirty years. Plus, we made a pact to have an annual trip, so I know there will be ‘one more night’.
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Here you can type the beginning of your post. It will be displayed on the main page of the blog.
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Another sad day, the bad news is flowing and I wonder why. I could run down a list of friends and acquaintances, old and new, that have recently been handed devastating news. I had another heartbreaking phone call last weekend. An old friend, I use old loosely, was told she’s sick, unsure of what, when and details still, but it’s not good. She and I have not been in constant contact for the past couple of years. Just the usual hi at the gym, Christmas card or running into each other at parties and school functions. The reason for our distance is the same excuse we all use; kids have different interests, too much going on, life. Yet, when we hear of something life changing we immediately let go of all the bullshit reasons. That’s what friends do.
The first thing I did was call. This was difficult because I had no idea what’s going on. I only knew what I’d heard from a mutual friend, Tami is sick, possibly cancer. I had to call. I’m not the kind of person that will phone a friend of a friend, I want to call THE friend. I spoke with her husband, Steve, said she was trying to rest. He relayed all they knew, which wasn’t much, and I asked that she call, if she wants to talk. I was shocked when she called later that evening. How brave of her to call. I took the phone to the living room and we chatted. I did most of the listening, which actually made the talk easier for me.
She said she was thinking about me the previous evening, at two in the morning. She couldn’t sleep and felt like writing. She recalled a journal I had given her a few years back when she had her hysterectomy and she began to search for it so she could write. She found it in the den and has been writing ever since. Tami told me she felt compelled to write everything down for her kids. My stomach was in knots. How does someone begin to tell their kids all that you want them to know between now and forever? It was so sad, yet Tami has an astonishing sense of humor and she announced that yes, she was writing, but she wasn’t going to win a Pulitzer Prize.
Every moment is important. There is the quote,” Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away”, this was one of those moments for me. Her strength is amazing. I am sure she will kick this thing in the butt and after she does, her journals will be published and the Pulitzer will be hers.
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A friend of mine said yesterday that life is really not worth much without friends. I have to agree, wholeheartedly. I’m sure there’s a quote out there somewhere that states this more eloquently but that’s the nuts and bolts. We were discussing the passing of her father. It was an unexpected death. He was a strong, healthy, attractive 76-year-oldman. He worked hard, physically, everyday. For some reason God needed him.
I came home from a weekend away with my family and saw an e-mail from Rennie; my dad’s memorial. I replied to the message, stating how I shocked and sorry I was and that I would call. I knew she might not have time to talk, but I left a message asking her to return my call when time allowed her to chat. She returned my call later that same day. I could tell she was trying hard to be strong, but she also wanted to let go. Let go of her feelings and emotions, let it all out. We had a wonderful conversation about her Dad. They had planned to have a memorial that next weekend but so many people wanted to come that they had to wait two more weeks. Stu touched so many lives that, literally, hundreds of people want to come and say good-bye.
Rennie had an amazing relationship with her dad. Her move to Nevada, some years back, was so she could be close to him. She had a huge amount of love and respect for him, as did her husband and two boys. I had the opportunity to meet Stu a few times. The last time I saw him was about 10 years ago when Rick and I took our three kids and went with Rennie’s family on a trip to Tahoe. They left a few days before us and we met at her dad’s ranch in Carson City. It was a beautiful home and we were so welcomed. We stayed for the day and then headed up to stay in his girlfriends condo in Tahoe, for free, with full use of their boat. It was very generous. Rick and I were impressed by them. They were wonderful, giving and hard working.
While I was talking to Rennie I knew I was going to Reno. I had thought about going for the memorial but when she told me how many people she expected, a better thought came to mind. I will come down after the service, when everyone’s gone home and life is starting to get back to its normal schedule. That’s when you’ll need a friend. She agreed. So, three weeks after she has said goodbye, formally, I will be on a plane to Reno to see my friend. I plan on bringing my best listening ears and a bunch of Kleenex, but I know, this is what she would do for me. This is what friendship is about, being there, making it happen.
"Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods." ~ Aristotle.
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Today is the first day of school, both my kids are off and running, nervous, scared and excited. I miss them already. I want to hear about their day right now though I am grateful for the solitude, only because it allows me to write and reflect.
Summer, as always, was busy and fun. We didn’t take what I call a ‘real’ vacation this year. There were no planes, ships or trains, only automobiles. One trip was our annual camping trip with Rick’s college friends. This was our eleventh year and it was a blast. I am fortunate to be married to a man that holds long-term friendship in high esteem. All of the men and two of the women went to the University of Washington. The first nine years four families attended our yearly event, Jim and Lynn along with their two kids, Jim and Paula and their three kids, Scott and Kellie including their four kids and then there is Rick and I along with our three kids. The past two years another family has joined us. They moved back to Mercer Island from San Diego and have added this trip as one of their summer to dos. John, Carolyn and their two kids rounds out our gang. We are quite a large group, 10 adults and 14 kids.
Not all of the kids can make it each year, this year we were close, the only one missing was our oldest, Kate. One of the best aspects of these friendships is what it’s taught the kids. Their ages range from Kate at 23 down to Jack aged 10. The friendships they have created are wonderful. The kids exchange texts and the older ones are all friends on Facebook. Madeleine, my daughter, complains that the kids don’t get together often enough. The adults try and see each other a few times a year, unfortunately the kids don’t have that same opportunity, I hope to plan something this year to help remedy that situation.
Even though we don’t get together all the time, talk on the phone or e-mail weekly we are all close friends. We talk about everything and nothing. It is similar to my NINE and I love the camaraderie. The kids used to take a few hours to warm up to each other, now that warming-up period no longer exists. They jump out of the car to hugs from everyone. It is work to maintain long-term friendships, but anything worth having is worth working for. I am thrilled that my husband has this same understanding. It makes planning my girlfriend get-away to Vegas that much easier, since I have the support of my family. Keep on top of those friendships that are important to you, it’s worth it!
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Summer is sweet. I realize that today, as I sit, with my laptop, in my robe at 11:50 in the morning listening to my son play Wii. This is the first day that I am not running off to somewhere; I am taking full advantage of this time. My summer, so far, has been filled with loads of wonderful times and I am now looking forward to a relaxing end.
My son, Max, was in a musical this summer, his first ever. He truly enjoyed himself and I am thankful to all the wonderful friends and family that supported him by attending one of the shows. Driving to Seattle from Duvall everyday for four plus weeks made for a busy month, not only for Max, but for me as well. The experience was wonderful, seeing him light up on stage was magical. Knowing all those days how tired he was, yet when I woke him at 6 AM he popped out of bed with a tired grin. I am hoping for more plays, theater and acting in his future.
Madeleine kept us driving around as well. We had to drag ourselves out of bed in Idaho at six AM to get home to Duvall and then head right off to opening ceremonies of a Western Worlds Softball Tournament in Everett. I am blessed to watch my daughter play softball, she is good at the game and I enjoy my relaxing days sitting in my canvas chair, chatting with friends new and old.
My summer changed when all of these things came to an end, not the end, just an end. There will be more softball starting in September and basketball will begin for Max then, as well. The endings happened to coincide with Maddy going on a road trip with a friend’s family and Max and I found ourselves with nothing to do, and nothing we did. Now, my nothing isn’t the same as his but someday he’ll understand it. I was able to write, to garden, to cook and bake, and to paint some chairs that had long been ignored. I was in heaven. I took some time to reflect on all of the fun memories we had built this summer, adding to the ones past and building a foundation for the ones to come. That is what summer is about, you are busy, you rest, you vacation, but you’re happy. It’s sunny in Seattle!
Please check back soon. I have some summer stories to tell. I am especially looking forward to the one involving my husband, Rick’s, college buddies.
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Idaho
Friendship does not have to be decades long to be important. The kids and I came to visit friends at their family cabin in Idaho. It took about 8 hours to get here and we have only 4 nights to stay. This friendship is not only about me, it’s also about my kids. The family we’re visiting has a daughter the same age as my oldest and twin boys my son’s age. They also have an adorable 5-year-old girl, Andie. The friendship began in Duvall, where my family lives.
Our kids were in elementary school together and through sports with our kids the adults became friends too. Then they were transferred to Texas for work. Maddy and Max were very sad. As parents we have made an effort to foster these friendships for our kids. We have been to Texas twice, Alex surprised Maddy last year, flying up for a summer visit, and as a family we came to ski with them at the cabin here in Idaho. Now, the kids and I are back for a few days while, Piper, the mom, is hanging out at her family cabin with the kids for a few weeks.
This is what keeps friendships alive; making the time to connect. We are teaching our kids the importance of friendship as well. The bonds they have are amazing, especially the boys. The girls keep up via facebook and texting, but boys don’t keep in touch this way. When we drove up on Wednesday night the twins, Aidan and Aaron, were standing in the driveway waiting for us. As soon as we pulled in they were on top of Max. The kids unloaded the car, the girls sat together to chat and the boys wrestled, this must be boy bonding.
I am enjoying the trip and my visit with Piper and watching the kids interact. I hope these friendships will be life-long for them and I hope I am helping it along by making the time for them to see one another. I hope I am a good example of what it means to be a friend and how important friendships are to all of us.
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We’re going to Vegas baby… Cynthia’s kind father has given us the use of his time share in Las Vegas AND he booked it for us. What a guy.
We try to get together as often as possible, sometimes lives, kids, husbands and lovers get in the way. The one annual gathering we still have in place is Christmas and whoever makes it shows up. This will be the same way, as in whoever can make it, but I am hoping for the whole crew. So many memories have surfaced during the writing of my book and there are tons more to waiting to get out of our foggy minds. When we’re in the same room bouncing thoughts back and forth to reconstruct stories more parts and pieces of them come together.
The planning is the hardest part. Trying to take into account everyone’s schedule is difficult. We’ve come to the point where we have to say, “This is the date. If you can make it, great, if not, we will miss you.” Fortunately, our kids are older, our husbands and lovers wiser and we can usually get away. We know this ‘group’ cannot be duplicated, it will not happen again. We will never be in junior high or high school again, we will never have a group of women know us since we were fourteen, it’s not possible. So when we are given the dates of a trip, or a dinner, this is our chance to reconnect. Whether we can make it annually, or monthly, we will always be included and to miss out is truly missing out.
See you all in Vegas!
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Yay! The web site is up, the blog has begun. Thank you to all of those that checked out the site and made nice comments. Remember, you are more than welcome to leave any comments on the blog page.
I hope everyone is enjoying their summer. I can remember summers that were so lazy and long. Now it seems they fly by and everyday is busy. I know that it is 99.9% my fault. I over schedule, over commit, over-eat, over play and under sleep all summer long. Just this week a trusted colleague told me to start thinking about why I am so angry. Angry? Me? I don’t think I’m angry, but when she said it I knew she had a point. I need to slow down and take inventory and summer is the perfect time. I want my kids to remember long, lazy summers, not overscheduled by a freaky, we must-accomplish-something-everyday mother. So I began yesterday, hello tan and relaxed kids, good-bye sparkling toilets and preplanned meals.
But here I am, arguing with my 13 year-old daughter about NOT watching TV on a beautiful day. I am full of positive suggestions, practice guitar, pitch, let’s give each other pedicures, let’s accomplish something. She storms off, calling me stupid and letting me know that she will practice guitar and then she is watching TV. Maybe this lazy day attitude takes some work. I think I will go give myself a pedicure, outside in the sunshine. ( I bet she joins me.)
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Friendship, the word conjures up different ideas and thoughts for people all over the world. There is no culture I am aware of that doesn’t have a word for friendship. What is ‘friendship’ to you?
To me, friendship is different with regards to different people and friends, but it is constant in one way. It makes you happy and brings you joy. I have friends from different aspects and phases of my life. I have a couple of friends from grade school, some that are past work colleagues, a few from college, newer friends from the neighborhoods we’ve lived in, the schools my kids have attended, the sports teams they’ve played on. Then I have my family, my sister, brother and parents. I have my husband. Then I get to the real meat of my friends, the girls that I have known since I was 14.
Do I call them every day, no; could I, yes. When something is eating at you, you need advice or an opinion, who do you turn to? I turn to one of the women pictured on this website. Why? Because I know they will listen and HEAR me. I know they will not judge me. I know they will give me their honest opinion. And sometimes I know they will just listen, no advice, no opinions, no problem solving, just a shoulder and an ear.
I want to share our story with you. Friendships are important in life. They keep you grounded and boost you up. Check back often; tell me about your friendships, how you’ve kept them strong or why you let them slip through the cracks. Enjoy your day.
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